wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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