whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
