mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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