We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
