Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
