Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
