You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
