he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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