i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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