My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
