Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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