Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
