so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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