Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
