one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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