we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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