omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
