I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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