its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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