dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
