Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
