There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
