How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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