His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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