Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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