No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
