Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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