but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
