I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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