I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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