I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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