She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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