He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize