Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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