This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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