I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
