My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
