sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
