I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize