I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
