Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The adults are the big ones right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize