People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
