Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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