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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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