She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
