i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
