she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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