fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
