yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
