ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
