I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
