i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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