her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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