i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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