I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
