my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
