Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize