I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
