but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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